"A car sits along the side of a two way highway. Desert surrounds everything. This particular road stretches for days in both directions. One heads west, the other east. Mountains loom on the horizon to the west, the direction the motionless car is pointing. To the east is the dawn light. 1966 Dodge Comet, four door. Dark green exterior color which has become faded over time. The tires are bald. There is no driver, only a passenger sits alone. Inside the only sound is the hazard lights blinking in a rhythm. Yellow light illuminate the inside with each blink. The passenger knows this is the end of the ride. Looking at the highway stretched out ahead, he tries to summon the courage to get out and start walking. "
Yesterday was difficult to say the lest. Brandi came over on time but we both were hunger so went to Nancy's to eat. Afterwards we came back and started into things. Man did Carol have a lot of stuff! We filled 13 garbage bags (I'm getting better) with clothes. Some things I kept, most I did not. Of course we found all her journals. We opened one from her Sophomore year in high School. It starts with "I think I have a hangover but I'm not sure." We both laughed out load over that. I looked at the volumes of writing she has done. I might start a blog just to put all of it out there for everyone to read. Is that wrong?
I mean, we are going through things. Some items meant a great deal to her but to us, they look like an ordinary objects. Something that can easily go in the trash. It is strange the things we keep that are of significant value to use but are meaningless to others. The one thing that is priceless to the individual and the people left behind are our own written words. I would love to share Carols words with anyone who is willing to take the time to read them. Thoughts?
Karma Is Trying to Help
10 years ago
4 comments:
Good job, Kelly, on attacking that which has been so hard to even think about doing. It even sounds like there was some more healing involved. I say post the thoughts. I know Carol wouldn't mind although I'm sure she'd say something like, "Who'd want to read that stuff?" I think Merle, Carrie, Kim, others, and I would be an audience for you and for her. Go for it!
Cambria
You've taken some mighty big steps, Kelly, and "it's all good". Bless your heart.
I love reading Carol's writing so much that I find myself going back to her blog and re-visiting what she wrote there. I'd love to read her thoughts from another place and time of her life, as well. (The hangover piece you shared was rich!! :o)
I know she's there with you as you so lovingly tend to her belongings, trying to best decide what stays or goes; and if it goes, where it goes. I'm glad you have someone there to help you with it all.
Thanks, as always, for sharing your soul with us.
~Kim
Kelly,
You are starting to learn that clothes and personal possessions are just things for the most part and can be parted with. Words, on the other hand, ARE the person. Those little books are Carol, just as this journal is Kelly, and they are what you have left of this beautiful, precious woman you called your wife. What a treasure to find.
Share what you feel like sharing from the journals with us. Keep those journals safe forever.
Cousin Merle
I would be glad to hear any of Carol's words you choose to share with the rest of us. I will be very happy to hear about your new and improved bedroom where you can rest, remember and begin to heal. You are moving forward, not forgetting. Small steps.
Keep up the good work!
Carrie
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