Acceptance Part 1

The next day I was supposed to go into work to make up hours from being sick on Monday. But I stayed home and got the room ready to be moved in to. The pain was still there but at lest I had stopped crying. By noon the room was ready. I sent a text message that the room was ready and come over anytime.

At 2pm I attended a service for my friend killed on his bike. It was sad and I left at 3:30pm. I stopped at Soup Plantation and had an early dinner. Did you know they have new soup bowls? They are the size of my palm. They are not bowls, they are cups. Pissed me off. I like to put mushrooms and black olives in the bowl and then put clam chowder in it. But the size of the cup now is pathetic. Why have Soup in your F’n name then give a cup to put it in? “Thank you for your money now leave hungry please.”

Ok, sorry for the rant. I went home and waited for Joe to move in. He finally came by and moved his stuff in.

After my breakdown last night I’ve been thinking. Thinking about what or who I am now. I want so desperately to have Carol back in my life but that is not going to happen. Before I met Carol I was mostly kept to myself. It is odd that Carol and I fit so perfectly together. We spent our time together and enjoyed being together. Now that she is gone I’m reverting to being someone who keeps to themselves. Alone. I don’t think that is a good thing. I think that if the day comes when or if I am with another woman, the relationship is going to be different than what I had with Carol. Carol and I had broken pieces that fit each other’s broken pieces. With Carol gone, I still have broken pieces. I am coming to accept the fact that if I have another relationship, it may be based upon something completely different.