My alarm went off at 4:35am today. I got up, walked around, got my gym cloths on, and showed up at 4:55am. Doors open at 5am. Went inside, started the treadmill and waited for Jack to show up. Doop de do. wait. Jack shows up at 4:45am. I'm thinking to myself, "was it 5 or 5:30?". So at 5:25 I walked down and saw Jack. He looked surprised and said did we have an appointment today? Opens his appointment book and shows I have a 5:30am on Wednesday. Crap. Then I notice I have an appointment on Friday at 5am. I'm going to San Diego for 5 days on Wednesday so I had to reschedule for Tues. After I left my mind was scrambled and I started going, "when was that again? Tuesday, no Wednesday? 5 or 5:30?" And I had just left 2 minutes ago.
Somethings are getting a little better. My great day lasted a day. But I'm grateful for having it. I still find myself thinking when I drive up to the house. I used to walk in the door and Carol would say in a loud excited voice "Honey's home!" and run to the door and give me a big hug. I still see her sitting on the chair by the sliding glass door reading a book or watching TV. But I also see her sitting there looking tired, oh so tired. Doing a breathing treatment.
Big sigh
Today I get to call CHOC. Seems I've been turned into collections for a bill. This happens all the time. Rather than try and resolve insurance issues, CHOC just sends the bill to collections and makes the collection company deal with it. Nice uh? Some good news though, Blue Cross paid Carol's ambulance bill in full so I don't have to fight with them. When I called to report Carol's death to my benefits department I was given chance to pick another Insurance plan. I was unprepared for this and pick Kaiser. Well, lucky me. They made the effective date the day Carol died so I got all the bills for her day as "not covered". Ambulance, emergency room, bla, bla bla "not covered". Great. I called and they switch the date to the 16 of March.
Well that's all for today.
Karma Is Trying to Help
10 years ago
7 comments:
Everyone should have a turn at their sharp mind dulling out some... sorry it had to be grief that got you there! Maybe it's time for a palm pilot. :) I'm glad you started your own blog. It's so not you to do that which is why I like it. Hang in there, my friend.
Love ya,
Cambria
Oy vey! ...And so the insurance stuff continues on, eh? I'm glad you were able to get it all straightened out, though. Relief.
I like Cambria's idea of a palm pilot ... I don't have one myself, but I just KNOW I'd be an organized and punctual individual if I did! It might just help you get through this time of "fuzzy thinking"... Which brings to mind a little book, "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion; written following the sudden and unexpected death of her husband. You might want to take a look at it -- I think you might find some similar thoughts expressed to those of your own.
Wishing you a better day/days,
Kim
Forget the palm pilot and just get a regular little paper calendar that you an carry in your pocket. by the time I figured out how to use the electronic things the whole year would be gone. there is something to say about good old paper and pen!!! Glad you had a good day and I am wishing you many more good than bad. Keep in touch and keep the 4th of July open. Now
get to Longs for that calendar!
Carrie
Yes, Carrie, but you forget you're talking about the techno geek of the century. If it's electronic, he'll want it! Bigger, faster, and more buttons, right, Kelly... and paper and pencil won't upload to his computer where you KNOW he's spending much of his time!
Cambria
Hi Kelly,
As to the confusion, welcome to my daily world! Have I told you that before? Oh, well.
The thing is, you don't get over missing her, you only get used to it more and more. It's not a bad thing; it's called memory. If you would like to read the book Kim mentioned, I have it. Let me know.
Let me know about any other help you need. I'm always available.
Merle
Hey there nice it wasa nice to get to see you in Vancouver and look forward to you coming up this way. I'm happy that work is going well and that you are getting into the swing of "some" things. Thsnks for inviting me to read your blogs. Talk to you real soon
By the way that last comment was from Kim LOL
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