Kitty

Yesterday I put my cat to sleep. Her name was Keycat or Kitty. Keycat was slang for kitty cat. Carol got her when she was a baby kitten. As a kitten she was extremely violent and would try and kill other cats or kittens. She would attack Carol’s face while she slept. Carol took her to the Vet to see what could be done. The vet said the only thing that can be done for this cat was to put her down. She was not going to change. At the Vet’s office was one of Carol’s cousins Kitty. Carol was not about to give up and decided to name the kitten Kitty and learn to figure out how to tame this violent kitten.

Carol went to the book store (years before the Internet) and got several books on aggressive cats and how to tame them. After months of hard work she started to calm down. Carol started dating around this time and went out with a guy who came over to her house. While sitting on the couch he was talking to Kitty when she reached up and opened up is nose. To this day he still has a visible scar on his nose from Kitty. When I met Carol on our first blind date I came unprepared. I didn’t give much thought about blind dates; they never work out. When the door opened and I saw how beautiful Carol was and how grungy I looked I thought, “Shit! I screwed this up.”

Kitty sealed the deal for me. While sitting on the couch, Kitty came up and started to rub on me and purr in a very happy way. For Carol, no matter how bad the first date went, she was going to figure out what it was about this man that Kitty seemed to like.

So there I was yesterday at the vets. I was agonizing over what I was about to do. My heart was pounding and aching. With sobbing tears they came to sedate her. I saw Kitty (Carol’s cousin) and thought she would come in but a mix up of who was doing what prevented her from coming in. I wanted her to come in very much but was so emotional I couldn’t be assertive enough. Then they came and euthanized her. I stayed a few minutes with her. I felt like I had failed Carol.

I went home. My house is empty now. I stood in my house crying. The phone rang and the caller ID said it was the vet. I picked it up and Kitty was on the other end. Now let me take a moment and just say that of all the years I’ve know Kitty she has never been the type of person to show any emotions… ever. Every once an awhile you catch a corner of her mouth upturn to make a smile. But other than that I have never seen or heard her share emotionally. She is just not that type of person. On the phone she said, “Kelly, I just wanted you to know that Carol would have been so proud of you. You cared and loved for her cats and they got to live a lot longer and happier because of you. I am so proud of you.” It was not the words that hit me the hardest. It was she said them through a sobbing voice cracked with tears and grief. I couldn’t speak; all I could do was cry out loud with her.

Thank you Kitty.