I didn't put a title cause I'm not quite sure what to call this. First let me bring people up to date.
I was working in Vandenberg last week. I was surprised that Friday came alone and I went, "Oh Shit! I forgot Carol's Birthday! (which was on the 7th)" I had a mix of emotions. I felt kinda good cause I didn't dwell on it. But felt bad that I forgot.
Now for the big news...(drum roll)....
I asked Darcy, the lady I've been dating for about 8 months, to move in. (gasp).
I'm not sure how everyone will take this. Some will think it is too soon, others might be happy that I can start to live another life now or some don't really care one way or the other. It has been something I've been thinking about for some time. I have 4 hour drives to Lompoc when I go up there and back. So I would pass the time thinking about things. One of the things I would think about is asking Darcy to move in. During a conversation about her moving to an apartment next door where she was living for more room I happen to bring up the question if she wanted to move in. After a lot of talk we came to the agreement to give it a try.
She moved in for the most part this weekend. We are taking scuba diving lessons this weekend and the next. We are both looking forward to doing that. One of her daughters came over on Sunday to see Darcy for Mother's Day. I was showing them the around the house. I heard later that when I showed them the office I happen to mention that was Carol's computer bla bla bla. Afterwards she told her mother it kinda looked like Carol was still there. The desk and computer is still the way she left it. Grief is strange that way.
Even after clearing out a ton of stuff grief still happens to find a few things to hang on to. Darcy told her daughter that is they way it is going to be with a few things. She accepts that which is one of the reasons I like her and felt good about her moving in. She is willing to allow me to continue to heal from my grief. I'm sure if it got too bad or too creepy she might not feel that way. For now though, having her desk the way it is didn't seem to bug her that much. I do plan to move the desks out of the office and into the bedroom. So in a short period of time the office will not look the way it is now.
So what do you think blog-fans?
Karma Is Trying to Help
11 years ago
5 comments:
I think that you are doing what you need to do to heal and I am happy that you have found someone to share that journey with.
My prayer for you is that you will cherish the memories you have of Carol and continue to make new memories with Darcy.
Colleen 44 w/cf
Hmm... she's empathetic, adventurous and willing to give you the space you need while taking up some of the space you need to share... Can't think of why you'd want her to move in, haha. I know it will go as well as it can... which I hope is perfectly well.
And I'm sending a cosmic hug out to Carol right now. I was never good with birthdays.
Hugs :+)
Hi Kelly,
May seems like a good month to start something new. I hope you got your bedroom repainted!
Cousin Merle
I just found your and Carol's blogs about twelve hours ago. I feel as if I have known you both for years yet in reality it has been just hours. I have been through all the CF emotions with you and of course the grief and healing after her death as I laid her most of the night just crying. I am amazed at you both for loving each other so much.
At any rate, I have read through every post and reached the final one. I jsut wanted to say it could not have ended on a happier note for me. Finally being able to be happy again after such sadness that CF brings gives me hope that should my daughter ever pass before I do, I can maybe smile one day not long after. Good luck in the future Kelly. Your past two years has touched my heart in less than a day.
Much Love,
Jess Day Florida
I just realized I did the same thing, I forgot Carol's birthday for the first time this year - weird. I'm VERY happy to hear you have a new "roommate". She sounds great and I'd love to meet her someday.
All my best!
Joyce
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