Relitivity

Some things are just relative. If someone makes 40k a year, buying a car and having a $600 dollar a month payment is not unreasonable. If someone makes 80k a year would a $1200 a month payment be unreasonable? I have friends that spend $1200 a month on child care. If someone is single and has no children to take care of, why would it be bad to spend that on something that is a lot of fun and brings a since of enjoyment? I guess to some people this would seem out of line and too far over the edge of what is appropriate. I think it's all just relative to the person and situation.

F-Bombs

I sometimes wonder if I should edit or delete posts after I've made them. I think I've only done that once or twice and only because it involved the privacy on someone else. For me though, I've continued to put myself out there. Raw and unedited. It my be offensive, abrasive, or frustrating to some of my 5. I apologize. I try to think about someone else reading this who has suffered a loss. They might find them self without warning suddenly feeling something. It is kinda cool that they may read this and go, "Oh hell yes! I know exactly what he means." Then they don't feel so all alone with grief.

also I kinda like dropping the F-Bomb once in a while.....

Oh, and BTW, feeling much better today.

18 months

it's been 18 months. fuck i hate this shit

oops.....

Sorry about that.

We came back from Vegas on Monday then I left for Huntsville, AL on Tue. I'm still out here. I really really like the work. I'm getting to do some things I've always wanted to do. It is kinda simple and repetitious but I still like it. We have ran into an issue here and there so I'm still here.

How was the weekend? Well, I played craps twice and won about $300. That is very good as I played for about 6 hours each time and would start with $300. That means I walked away each time with about $150. I like that. Not real big time money but money just the same right?

I really enjoyed my time with my new "friend". I would love to talk about everything, what I think how I feel problems challenges etc etc. But I think it best not to out of respect for her and her privacy. We know some of the same people and at lest 2 out of the five people who read this would know who I'm talking about.

I've had dreams of Carol again. I've been real sad when I think about her and how much I miss her. I'm doing my best to heal and move on. Giving time time. It is almost 18months. Imagine that, a year and a half. Is it bad to be selfish and think of myself during the last 18months and look back at where I've come? What about all the other people who was an active member in Carol's life? How are they doing? What about her sister? I emailed her once and she sent a very short reply back and I've never heard from her again. How is she doing? Carol was the last member of her immediate family. What about Carols friends? So many would call and talk to her about the problems they were having. Who do they call now? Do they sit at night and think about how much they miss her?

Kel